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fearch - The Full UK Founders Story.

(This is a blog post reflection looking back at the past 3 years of fearch.)

Over the past 3 years since founding fearch I have learnt and experienced so much and it has moulded me into the British CEO that I am today. I had a dream and I pride myself with being an extremely passionate and strong willed leader ensuring that my project stays on course to be the UK's very own Major Search Company.

Whilst looking back at the day that I registered the domain name fearch on 'September 14, 2012', it also fills me with complete sadness realising what I was actually going through back then at that time.

The story begins on '9th June 2012' My father was rushed into hospital and died within hours from a rapid 6 months terminal cancer illness of the lungs, which partially originated from age-old industrial asbestos cancer. He was once a hard manual skilled worker in the industrial age of the North.

This day was a Saturday if I remember correctly and my father was in hospital at 9am. I received the call at 8.30am from a worried family and by 9.30am I had rushed to and arrived to the Royal Liverpool Hospital to be at his dying side and to hold his hand. I hoped it was going to be ok and truly hoped that he would make it, afterall the next few days where a time that i planned that i would need his support more than ever.

It was a long few hours of him regaining consciousness on and off throughout the day, the last time that I spoke to him like on a 'normal consciousness level' was from 1.30pm to 2pm. He then slipped away into a deep trance like state for hours again on oxygen support. I held his hand throughout this ordeal knowing one additional stressful thing that was on the way, my fiance partner Leylah was scheduled to be induced with our first child at 7pm later that Sat night. My life never does things by half's, I can assure you. I was more scared than I had ever been, but I knew it was not the time to fall to pieces as I had a pregnant partner to support as she was already 14 days late over her 'due date'.

Life around me was changing at a rapid pace, it was almost like the world was rushing around me and I felt as though I was in slow motion, it was very strange and surreal. At approx 4pm the consultants called us into a private room and told us to prepare for the worst. They stated my father had days, if not hours left.. then they immediately said it's probably hours though. They were correct, it was hours.

When I thanked them for their help and advice they asked if I wanted to stay in the private room longer in order to come to terms with it, I was in shock but stated "No, I'm not losing one more second of his company and being able to have him in my life regardless of his condition".

When I returned to his bedside, my father strangely woke just in time to see me arrive back next to him, and asked me what was up, I told him truthfully what they told me, I told him that he now has pneumonia and may have just hours to live, he knew my unborn child was due to be induced by the end of the day, he apologised and stated.. I'll fight it. He had a tear in his eye and he knew it was a one way situation and there was no way to overcome it. I told him I loved him and he said "I love you too.." while looking into my eyes deeply with a goodbye sadness. Then he slipped away again and I sat by his side holding his hand.

At approx 5.10pm I felt his hand going cold and looking very white. I turned to look at the heart rate monitor and it was falling gradually. It fell down to 50, 40, 35, and the lower it got the bigger the fall was on the monitor.. it went down to 15 then that way it, 0.. his whole body twitched and he was gone.. that dreaded flatline beeping was sounding and I was broken. I had lost my true fountain and source of wisdom and he was my best friend and mentor. My world had just changed. I continued to sit by his side and kissed his hand from what I can remember and said my goodbyes.

I left at approx 6pm in a rush as I then had to get a taxi home to my fiance who was dangerously heavily pregnant and I arrived home at 6.30pm. We booked at taxi immediately as I had to get to the Liverpool Women's Hospital by 7pm to book us in. I kept myself strong and together. Although I was in shock and felt like I had lost a huge part of me that was never to return. I couldn't let myself break down.. There was no room for emotions or error under pressure.

It was a very long induction weekend. The room where my partner was being induced had a window that made it so much worse.. It looked out at my childhood home that I had not seen in 23 years. It was where my father used to play in the garden with me, I knew the area well, I started picturing me and my father walking down the road that I could see in the distance. Sort of watching time back from a distance and seeing him holding my hand when I was 5 years old walking down the road. I couldn't believe it.

By Monday morning 8am we where waiting for labour to start and my partner trialled labour as the hours passed and it didn't go to plan at all. Our unborn child had grown too big to come out naturally and he had turned slightly.. I was time to have an emergency caesarian section.

Doctors running everywhere, the place looked like a war zone, I thought I was losing another part of my life - it was a real emergency. Just a little past midday I was in the operating theatre watching the delivery and we had a huge baby boy come into our lives, we where very lucky. The surgeons were not happy how it was so rushed.

In a matter of 2 and a half days, I had lost my father, and had a son. I had also seen my childhood home and past in front of my eyes while I had the chance to gaze out the window and reminisce over what once was. I now had to step up and care for my partner and new son. I believe this is where my true leadership strength and skills where also born through these traumatic ordeals. Within just over a week of the birth of my son, it was time to attend the funeral of my father. A very low key event and with a new born baby in a car seat in tow.. not ideal while my partner could hardly walk due to her caesarian section scar.

My father had not seen his grandson and I had no real family to enjoy the birth of my son with. After the funeral day passed by, my distant family (as many do) returned to their own lives, while you have to move on with yours. I felt lonely for months looking at the clock every day at 5.20pm and knowing exactly how many days ago it was since I last heard my fathers voice. I missed him a lot couldn't help but keep count. I cant explain the reasons for it, comfort? A measure of time, I just don't know..

It was time to grow on my own wisdom, be a leader myself, help those around me and continue to build my new life and career. My new son was a little over 3 months old and I was upset over one main problem - not having spent more leisurely time with my father other the last few years of his life as I had been a work-addict for startups.

Work, Work, Work, Just building one more website... I'll see you soon, Just one more site to complete.. excuse after excuse for not spending leisurely time with him.. Deep shame on me.. one that would end up teaching me a painful lesson of what really matters in life.
I was trying ever so hard to be successful in order to provide a better life for all of my family and in doing so lost what little time he had left with me. I realised this at his bedside when he was dying in hospital, this was when I wouldn't allow myself to lose one more second with him, was it too little too late? Probably.

In all fairness i blamed tech, I had worked so hard and nothing ever worked out well.. it was far too time consuming, I swore I would never put work or tech before anyone who I cared about ever.

Which led me onto one last urge, I said out loud to my fiance - "this is my FINAL tech project, if I don't make this a success then I quit tech forever". I was adamant on two things 1) This project was to try to prove that the time I lost with my dad was NOT in vein and was for 'GOOD CAUSE' (if that's at all possible) and 2) If I didn't succeed I was done with tech forever. The thought crossed my mind on deciding what I truly wanted to own, build & grow.. it was a strange creation called 'fearch'. I always had a fascination with 'search'. What do you do when you search? You find.. that'll do, find by search = fearch.

fearch was born. Today I am proud to be English and a UK tech CEO or Managing Director as we should be called (we're British after-all). I am now here connecting with people whom I enjoy being around, I have met some amazing people in my life, one of which even wrote a book for a series of books that I always truly admired.

On a Final Note: People may find me strong willed, protective, too full on, annoying, extraordinary, or far too enthusiastic and therefore = just weird.. but it is for one reason and one reason alone, fearch doesn't have the option of failing. Failing means that me losing precious time with my father was all a waste and in vein & I would not and can not allow that to happen. People handle serious trauma in other ways, I feel I moulded it into something that I could utilise not be harmed or damaged by it. This makes fearch as a creation unqiue and a rarity, it's what makes it special and some people can sense it and sense/see the immense opportunites that it could bring for all involved.

I hope that I may one day be able to thank those who supported me along the way on my UK tech journey, from UK tech advisors to the caring UK hospital staff when my father died and also the amazing midwives & hospital staff who helped deliver my son in my time of need.

I'm going to thank the UK by creating a dominant powerful search company for the country. I will do my up-most to grow it's future revenues in order to bring in huge reserves of wealth and revenue back into our country and I will also work with important individuals to ensure that we all create a wealthy tech empire within our boarders. I will do my best to create tech employment for those who have had a dream like me and for those who have missed out on relationships and family time. I will ensure that no efforts by anyone will ever go unrewarded.

I would like to point out that the UK does have amazing founders stories of it's own.. Some are far better than the PR Movies that some Top Tech companies play on. We are real in the UK, but the main part we fail on is we just don't have the voice to tell a story. Is this because the UK just doesnt care for stories? I don't know - time will tell, afterall time tells everything if you just hold out and wait for the answer you need.

Thank you for joining me on my journey.

Richard Williams Founder & CEO of fearch (Richi Williams)